Thoughts and facts on bullying

Bullying is something which most of us have experienced or seen in our lives. It's sad to think that a lot of people who are bullied, often retreat into their own worlds and are too ashamed to reach out for help, and are often too scared to trust anyone. It's even more disheartening to know that bullying can drive some people to suicide! -That right there is the seriousness of it all, BULLYING KILLS! "Bullied children are 6 times more likely to contemplate suicide than their non-bullied counterparts"As a parent I understand that myself, along with school teachers, are the biggest influence in my children's lives. With my help and guidance my children learn to live and understand life in general, my children rely on me for security and they know they can turn to me to confide in. "18% of children and young people who worried about bullying said they would not talk to their parents about it".

My daughter aged 8, is bubbly, bright, confident, cheeky and full of life, but throughout most of last year [2011] this was not the case. She suffered at the hands of a bully in her school class and the confident young girl we know was now quiet, withdrawn, emotional and insecure. As a parent, all you want is for your children to be happy and most of all to be safe. She doesn't know it, but I cried for her on many occasions. "Almost half (46%) of children and young people say they have been bullied at school at some point in their lives" Even when myself along with her school worked hard and put a stop to the bullying, and built her confidence back up, she still wasn't the same girl she always was. This is because she felt intimidated by the other girl. It was only when the girl in question moved schools, that my daughter got her spark back and is now the ever loving cheeky little girl that everyone loves. But how would she be today if the girl had not have left that school?　
This is my point.. It is not always enough to just intervene and stop the bullying itself from happening. It is not always enough to help the victim in feeling safe, secure and confident. When all that is done, the bully is still a bully, being told no and being watched closely doesn't always change a big deal. We need to find out why they bully, we need to go deeper into the situation to prevent it ever happening again and furthermore we need to then assure the victim of the changes made and assure them it wont be happening again. If we can change their mentality and install remorse then this will play a big part in prevention.
I know that this method does take place, but in my opinion it should happen with every situation and not just the serious ones. Here at TYLP we believe that early intervention is the best prevention. We shouldn't wait for a situation to become extreme before we take the biggest actions. As I stated earlier... BULLYING KILLS. "Each year 10-14 youth suicides are directly attributed to bullying"

STOP BULLYING NOW!!

The facts about bullying!

• 38% of young people have been affected by cyber-bullying.
• 30,439 children called ChildLine in 2010/11 about bullying.
• 38% of disabled children worried about being bullied.
• Almost half (46%) of children and young people say they have been bullied at school at some point in their lives.
• 18% of children and young people who worried about bullying said they would not talk to their parents about it.
• 30,439 children called ChildLine in 2010/11 (11% of calls) about bullying.
• Between 1 April 2010 to 31 March 2011 ChildLine carried out 30,439 counselling interactions with a primary concern of bullying. This represents 11% of the total counselling interactions undertaken during that period.
• Bullying was the main reason that boys called ChildLine.
• Two thirds (65%) of lesbian, gay and bisexual young people have experienced homophobic bullying at school.Between 8% and 34% of children and young people in the UK have been cyberbullied, and girls are twice as likely to experience persistent cyberbullying than boys.
• 38% of young people have been affected by cyber-bullying, with abusive emails (26%) and text messages (24%) being the most common methods.
• 28% of children did not tell anyone about the abuse.
• Each year 10-14 youth suicides are directly attributed to bullying (The Home Office)
  Bullied children are 6 times more likely to contemplate suicide than their non-bullied counterparts

A survey of pupils in England estimates that 16,493 young people aged 11-15 (4.4%) are frequently absent from state school or home educated because of bullying.

THE LAW

No matter how bad bullying can seem, many incidents of bullying are not actually crimes, and therefore might not be a matter for the police. The best people to deal with them are parents, teachers or other responsible adults.
But some types of bullying are illegal and should be reported to the police.

violence or assault
theft
harassment and intimidation over a period of time including calling someone names or threatening them, making abusive phone calls, and sending abusive emails or text messages (one incident is not normally enough to get a conviction) anything involving hate crimes .

#YouthStories The Affects of Cyber Bullying.

As part of our 'Youth Stories' campaign, we will be posting real life testimonials from youths that have suffered at the hands of bullies, fallen victim to knife crime, street crime, abuse etc.
The first story in are series features a testimonial from TYLP's trustee Carney Bonner, written in his own words to raise awareness on cyber bullying.

Carney
I’m Carney Bonner and I run a charity called is called ‘Keeping it Safe Online’. Which is part of my charity called The Carney Charles Foundation I want to tell you my story about how Cyber Bullying affected me.
I am a friend, a best friend, a brother and a son. When I was 14 I fell victim to one of the worse possible form of bullying-cyber bullying and it is something that can affect everyone
I spent a year of my life being bullied, it knocked my self confidence.
I became quiet and never spoke to anyone.
I didn’t know who to turn or what to do
When people are telling you – you are nothing – you should die – no one wants you around –
You feel responsible
I started to self harm because I had people saying to me that I was nothing and I should kill myself.
I’m not looking for people to feel sorry for me. I made a come-back ,  I told a school councillor. She helped me re build my self esteem- and now I want to help others who are going through the same.
That is why I started my campaign
What is cyber bullying
The latest figures from Beatbullying show that nearly one-in-three 11-16 year olds has been targeted, threatened or humiliated on their mobile phone or the internet.
This means- it can happen to anyone,  but what does Cyber Bullying actually mean?
Cyber bullying can be texting someone a horrible text, sending abuse on Msn, or taunting people on Facebook.
people who do this may think it’s a bit of harmless fun but it actually destroys lives.
Keeping it safe online is trying to stop the problems of cyber bullying and make a stand together to show people that cyber bullying is not acceptable.
Bullying is bullying at the end of the day and just because people can't see their victim doesn't mean that it doesn’t hurt.
So what should you do if someone is bullying you online
First Take Action
Second ‘Report, Don’t retaliate’- it will only encourage the bully
How to Report bullying
You can report bullying online and in the real world.
I felt embarrassed about being the victim of bullying- but shouldn’t have. It can happen to anybody. In the end I turned to a school councillor who helped me, but you can turn to anyone that you trust, mum and dad, guardians, youth workers, teachers, older brothers or sisters.
I’ve put the ‘report’ links below for Facebook, twitter, msn, Bebo, youtube,

• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/report#!/help/?page=843
• MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=help.reportabuse
• YouTube: http://www.google.com/support/youtube/bin/request.py?contact_type=contact_us
• Bebo: hhttp://www.bebo.com/Safety.jsp
• Twitter    http://support.twitter.com/
• MSN http://help.uk.msn.com/windowslivehotmail/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4374062

There are also places to go online for help. Beat bullying run a cyber mentors scheme. They’ve got  trained Cyber mentors online between 7.30 am til late. So there is always someone you can talk to.

Check out

• www.Cybermentors.org.uk

Finally You can ‘Block the bullies’, and always make sure you keep the evidence
For example on facebook you can block anyone that you don’t want to contact you.
If you are receiving emails or messages. Don’t Delete them, move them to a separate folder as evidence and better still print them out.
Also always make sure your details are on private-that way no-one can reach you or contact you. If you don’t want them to.
It is well worth your while spending some time doing this.
Keep it safe online
You can also contact me and my team and we can remind of anything you need to know,
Go to my battlefront page battlefront.co.uk/carney and you LIKE the facebook, follow me on twitter and Subscribe to my youtube to keep up to date and in contact. Or email us on keepingitsafeonline@gmail.com
I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to when I was being cyber bullied. And for a time it ruined my life but I got help but now I feel stronger.
I want to help others who are going through what I went through. Together we can Keep it safe online.